All kinds of relationships can have an imbalance of power: boss/employee, parent/child, friendships and of course romantic relationships. Power imbalances in romantic relationships can be particularly frustrating. Actually, I think that dating in general is terribly frustrating. A power imbalance is normal with an employee/boss or parent/child relationship, it’s the natural order of things. But, I believe that in order for a romantic relationship to really be successful over the long term both parties need to be somewhat equally invested in it.
When you’re the party without the power you can feel helpless and desperate. You might second guess what you want because you’re subverting your needs to maintain the status quo. There is a sense of fear that a single misstep could bring the relationship to an end.
The party with the power in a relationship could feel a couple of different ways. Some people thrive on that kind of control and such a person would relish the power. Another person might feel awkward about the situation. Sure, the person that he or she is with is nice, etc., but he or she had expressed things that the person simply might not be ready to reciprocate. Both instances can lead to taking the person for granted, and I don’t see where either situation end well.
AnnaBeth,
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I read the first sentence of your post, I realized I didn’t think of the examples of the different imbalance in power in relationships such as the boss/employee. I assumed, that an imbalance in power can lead to competition, but in a boss/employee environment I think that is healthy. So in some cases, I agree with you that an impower in relationships is normal and part of the pyramid of life. I think that usually the person in the relationship that has the power, is the one that is insecure and feels belittled about themselves which is why they feel that they need to have the power, and make the other person in the relationship feel smaller about themselves.
I enjoyed reading your post about power balancing. I agree with the things you are saying and I too said things very similar to you in my post. I feel that in certain situations such as parent/child power is given to one side due to the fact of that is how it is supposed to be. I couldn’t agree more that in a romantic relationship power should be balanced. I feel it makes people respect each other and their thoughts. Without power you can feel powerless and helpless and no one enjoys feeling that way all the time especially in a romantic relationships. Great post.
ReplyDeleteHi AnnaBeth,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your post and how you brought to life the idea of power imbalances and how it can affect relationships. You're very right about power being equal in romantic relationships, because it can be so easily felt when someone is more in "power" in the relationship. I think we all struggle with wanting to be in control at times because then we feel like we are in control of if we're going to be hurt or not (in my opinion). In order for relationships to succeed there always needs to be a give and take and without it, you're right, it can end badly! Thanks for your post.
I agree wholeheartedly with what you said about power balances in relationships. A relationship is built on trust and you must trust your partner not to take advantage of you! This can be very frustrating. People do relish the ability to have power over others, one of the faults of the human species, but I must admit it does feel good. When you are in a position of power, we would hope that we wouldnt abuse it, but sometimes we do it without realizing it. That’s why it’s important for people who aren’t in the top position to be assertive and speak their minds!
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