Like a lot of people, I don’t always see a conflict situation coming so, when that happens, those instances very hard to stop. Other times I feel that people (myself included) are somewhat primed for a fight and the other party responding the with S-TLC system can’t completely control the situation. But these situations aren’t overly common and I can often competently defuse things when I can remember to pause and evaluate the message.
What has helped me to do it is assuming that the other people are being reasonable. Even if I’m very entrenched in my opinion, rather than equate that with a different opinion being automatically wrong, I look at it as if they weren’t. I try to objectively consider a different perspective when it’s presented to me. Additionally, I need to keep myself from defining things as personal. This is actually the harder piece for me. But being mindful of it and taking the time to think it through is key.
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