I must admit that the phrase "instinct for conflict" sounds ambiguous to me. Does it mean that we have a natural talent for it? I certainly believe that the ability to clearly defend one's opinions is a sign of intellect in a person.
That said, I also feel that it is a skill, and not everyone choses to develop it for various reasons. As the book notes, many people avoid conflict at all costs while others seek it out. I have a hard time aligning the concept of an instinct for conflict with the conflict-avoidant person. I believe that we are born with personality predispositions which include a base attitude towards conflict.
I thought that our text made a subtle and profound distinction when it said " We believe that conflict is not simply a part of life; conflict is life as usual" (Abigail & Cahn, pp. 3). I absolutely agree, with this. Conflict is inevitable, but I don’t feel that it stems from an instinct for it.
Instead of having an instinct for conflict, I feel that all people are born largely self-interested. This naturally breeds conflict when our interests are not the same as those of others. This is not to say that we only act out of self interest, but without a barrier to our interests we pursue them. Those barriers are conflicts, whether they are large or small, easy to adjust to or seemingly insurmountable.
Conflict and self interest are not restricted to humans. I think that animals operate on the same basis of self interest and find themselves in conflicts as well. What separates humans is our broad capacity for communicating and responding to conflict.
I do feel that those who are hardwired with a predisposition to tackle conflicts rather than avoid them have a valuable asset. This is especially true when they can do so great skill. But I think that there is hope for conflict-avoidant people to learn the same skills. An important first step might be adjusting any negative views of conflict that keep them from engaging. I think that our text has helped me start to adjust my own negative views.
AnnaBeth, I definitely agree with you about the "instinct for conflict" seeming like an ambiguous phrase. I feel that conflicts arise through the interactions of two separate sources. If we all lived in our own bubble with no other humans to interact with, we wouldn't get into any conflicts with anyone else, though we'd be very lonely. Like you mentioned I believe dealing with conflict is a skill and that humans are not born with an instinct for managing it.
ReplyDeleteI also like the point you made in regards to animals dealing with conflicts. I think all creatures have their own conflicts that they must learn to manage in order to survive. It is survival of the fittest after all right? Chapter 2 goes more in depth about people whom avoid conflicts, and I think you'll find it interesting since you touched upon it in this post.
I am usually pretty comfortable engaging in a conflict, however, I realize some people aren't as comfortable. You mention the important first step is to adjust negative views associated with conflicts. I completely agree with that, and wish you good luck on tackling your own negative views!